Definitive Defecation

It’s late but I can’t sleep and I know I have not written that much as of late. Forgive any typos or weird sentence structure.

Before I get to the wishes, let me momentarily cover what I would not ask for and why.

I would not wish for anything regarding the cancelation of debts or availability of unlimited money. The world would collapse. No one I have ever met would continue going to work if they had the choice to live life and travel the globe or do whatever they wanted without the fear of financial ruin. Besides, as a species, we are still in that infant stage where we confuse price for value – If everything was basically free because money didn’t matter, very few people would appreciate anything. Hell, we are already transforming into a throw-away culture. Something like this would have terrible consequences on a global scale.

Next, it wouldn’t be world peace. We define ourselves through suffering and struggle. Much like the line delivered in The Matrix “necessary suffering”. If you look at some of the greatest minds that influenced our world, they were all troubled in some way. The deeper the wound, the darker the message. It’s what separates temporary statements from timeless advice.

Of course I could try to detail out “necessary conflict” as a middle ground but that’s where wishing gets sketchy and the wrong things happen because the wish was not specific enough. Think of it as a high school boy making a wish to be surrounded by p*ssy every day then waking up as a homeless guy who lives in an alley full of cats. Words you say as well as leave out could have unexpected consequences.

Next – Assuming one of the three requests could not be unlimited wishes, here are my three in no particular order.

1. Anyone attempting to knowingly pass false information in the form of a lie or deception, no matter how small, would result in an immediate and complete colon evacuation. This would also include passing along unverified information in an effort to not be accountable for its authenticity or accuracy. If the deception was done digitally, their computer would crash and all of their social media accounts would be corrupted and unrecoverable. You want to act like a bag of sh*t? Taddaa. Now your outsides match your insides.

Before we talk about “necessary and/or white lies”, I’ll say this. A lie is what tell others. A necessary or white deception is a lie we tell ourselves because we don’t want to be the person hurting someone’s feelings or being seen as the bad guy – when in fact the person asking you may need to hear the truth.

“Take off all that makeup Tammy Faye.”
“Was your barber blind and distracted?”
“The dress is fine. It’s your body that’s huge.”

We choose to lie because we’re ruthless inside our mind and have anxiety about that coming out through how we try to tell them the truth. It is possible to have terrible thoughts about someone’s question yet answer them honesty and in a way that is more constructive than catastrophic.

A world full of truth would also be one that was better at conflict resolution. People could debate over topics in a civilized manner instead of reverting to wild animals and killing one another over stupid sh*t.

2. Wishes #2 and #3 would not be decided upon until wish #1 was completely rolled out and had any unforeseen bugs addressed.

Here are the wishes I’d likely pick from listed in no particular order.

1. Rule of 40. Retirement available at 40 & all physical ailments reset (Would not include missing limbs or what could be considered permanent disfigurement)
   
2. Rule of Karma. You receive a message when someone from your past has been the recipient of the karma they so richly they deserved. (You do not get to choose, have no say when it happens, and have no choice as to how it manifests.
   (Standard message rates apply. You can also opt out any time)
   
3. Rule of Red. If someone knowingly steals from another, no matter the size or value, whatever hand they are dominant with has its pigment permanently changed to bright red. The only way to reverse this is to purchase an upgraded version of whatever you took and return that one to the victim while you keep the older version. The reversal is only good one time. After that, an appendage turns red for every item stolen. (Yes, I mean for each item, not instance)
   
4. Politicians would be paid minimum wage and required to take residence in the lower socioeconomic areas. They would be barred from any financial gain opportunities while in office. All financial transactions, both personal and professional, would be public knowledge until the politician was out of office. Lobbyists would be outlawed as well as political party donations from corporations or those who represent corporations. A politician would not be eligible for reelection if whatever territory they were responsible for did not show a positive outcome while they held office. (financial, cultural, educational, etc)
   
5. Education systems tailored to teaching kids critical thinking as well as financial responsibility, and the importance of personal accountability. Colleges would drop filler courses designed to fleece extra money from students. There’s no critical shortage of accountants who need a background in sacrifice rituals of the ancient Mayans and Aztecs.
   
6. Prisons would be paid for by the inmates contained within them. The prison administration would be privately funded. Depending on circumstances, inmates on death row would executed within 5 years of conviction.

When I was younger, my three wishes would have been solely for my personal gain. I think that’s just part of the maturing process.

How I see things now is that money is not as much fun when everyone else is miserable. If, as a collective, everyone’s life improves, I believe there’s more to gain overall than if an individual solely benefits from money. (Not to mention avoiding resentment, personal theft/crime, etc…)