The Dumpster Fire

Until a year ago, my most memorable vacation involved teaching my s/o how much more fun vacations are when you have to improvise everything -including what to wear every single day. It was truly a marvelous adventure even she has fond memories of.

Then… That one got 1up’d. Maybe even more than just by one.

You see, in May of 2021, my life changed on a level even I wasn’t prepared for -and seeing as that I’ve lived my life in constant survival mode, that’s saying something.

To keep this part short, I’ll summarize. I was riding the Harley-Davidson I had worked my entire adult life to own, when a driver crossed the double yellow lines and hit me head on while I was at-speed (meaning I never saw her coming so I hit her w/out ever applying the brakes) After flying 40 feet, breaking a lot of bones, receiving a severe traumatic brain injury, eventual bone infection, and an assortment of other life-altering injuries, it was safe to say everything changed for me.

The life I had known, obliterated. The morsel of positivity I had always clung to, gone…

It would be almost 2 years before I received the mostly-meaningless insurance money. By that time, the bones had healed and surgeries were completed, but mental health was on its way out… and it was in the express lane.

Everything short of my mortal life had been taken from me. Although this was not the first time, it was certainly the most intense and destructive.

I lied to everyone in my life, including my s/o about taking a trip around the country on Amtrak. I broadcast to everyone in my world that I would attempt to regain my composure in an effort to kickstart my mental health recovery.

The real purpose was to travel to the West Coast and experience a final sunset. It would be either Washington or Oregon. Go to the cliffs, watch a gorgeous sunset… Then retire. Permanently… and on my own terms.

I devised a plan. I would at least be able to end my life how I wanted to instead of the someone else’s choosing. I’d go by my own hand instead of being a pawn in a game I continually failed to understand.

Just as confusing as life had been, it paled in comparison to how the universe planned to save me from myself.

The full experience is shared in a category labeled Amtrak within my blog, but I will summarize here.

It was the trip from hell. Literally on day 1, nothing went right. By far, the absolute worst trip not only had I ever been on, but the worst I had ever heard of or read about. It was a dumpster fire of cartoon proportion.

I was gone a month and traveled more in the air than on the rails. I spent almost 3 times what I had budgeted for on a trip I never planned to come back from.

Amtrak took me to such a level of anger, rage, but most importantly distraction, that I refused to leave this life under the conditions they kept me in… And before I knew it, the trip was over and I was home.

So my most memorable vacation was a convoluted, poorly executed, shit-show inside a dumpster fire that could have been made into a movie. The unstable mind which was aimed at suicide was steered towards homicide and arson. It distracted me enough to save my life and bring me home.

If you’re looking for a good laugh at someone else’s expense, browse my Amtrak category. All the stories there are true. None have been embellished. They were shared exactly as I remembered/experienced.

PS. I still say “F*k Amtrak”.