There’s been many times I’ve said the first time you meet a love interest, you do not meet who they really are. You meet their representative – their best face forward… like a job interview.
I pride myself on the fact that the person you meet today will be the same person you run into tomorrow… But it wasn’t always like that. Not even close.
When I was in my 20’s, I had a representative who could’ve been in politics. If I wanted you (female), I left nothing on the table when it came to getting you (provided I felt I had a chance.)
I knew girls operated differently than guys. Men are visual creatures. Young men will stick it in just about anything willing to stay still long enough. Most women are tied to their emotions. Make them feel safe and secure and they will repay your efforts beyond your expectations.
I once even screwed myself out of sleeping with a girl I had wanted for years because she was down for a one-night-stand and I hit the seduction button so hard, she backed out because she said after all I had done, she would develop feelings for me -and knew I was leaving so she’d likely never see me again. This was literally right before our clothes came off. I was sooo pissed at myself… Then pissed even more years later when we did actually hook up -and it was terrible. lol *oh well*
At the time what I didn’t recognize was the fact that I was hurting girls and setting myself up for failure. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I was in love with the high I felt when making a woman feel like she was the center of my world. The attention they would return was unlike any other.
A housewife starving for attention/affection will eagerly do things with a stranger that she would never have considered with her husband. All he has to do is figure out what she’s been starving for and provide it in copious amounts.
My problem? The amount of effort I placed into seducing a girl was unsustainable for anything other than a short period of time. A few weeks. Maybe a month or two at most. After the honeymoon phase wore off, all the things I did at the start, ended. Of course, I never recognized the part I played. All I ever noticed was that “x” wasn’t down to do as much as she used to be. I chalked that up to her giving me the bait and switch instead of her reacting to feeling abandoned by me… Most of the time it resulted in me leaving them before recognizing the actual problem.
I’ve always been the one to bail out first. Even in the marriages. I can’t remember the last time I was actually dumped. I suppose it is/was a self-preservation thing. Be the first out the door in order to control who gets hurt the most.
I now understand why young women go after older men. From daddy issues to simply enjoying the attention older men give them because we’ve had enough time to recognize what we did wrong when we were younger.
I now strive to be the same guy on day 365 as I was on day 1. That meant abandoning the flood of attention and affection in the beginning and settling for mediocre levels of attention over time. If how I am at the beginning is enough to keep them around, then the chances of them feeling like I’ve given them the bait & switch are minimized.
Raising success through lowering expectations I suppose.
I dearly miss the heightened emotional state the seduction provides… But I do not miss the emotional rollercoaster it puts everyone on and ultimately, the pain it generates.
Abandoning the seduction process makes me more predictable, which makes people around me feel more secure than they normally would have.
I guess you could say it’s a sad, yet necessary sacrifice for me.
Off The Rails 