It’s amazing how much one person can influence another so many years after the relationship has ended. Part of my emotional purge has been an attempt at not allowing this person to continue to invade my thoughts when I find myself in the darkest of places and when thoughts of failure overwhelm me. This was written quite some time ago and I hesitated to publish it as I was a little too close to my chest to release into the wild… But holding there only allows it to burrow deeper.
*The Binge*
With the first year of my carnal binge
I prayed to wash your touch from my skin
With my first year of my carnal binge
I vowed to never taste your poison again
You were a penny disguised as a dime praying I couldn’t count
I was the fool in love with you and never cared about the amount
In over my head, a betrayal never planned
Your compliment to my life became a hardened backhand
We shattered into a million pieces, you wanted to play pretend
Broken fragments under our feet did not mean the end
A beautiful web you spun through lies well spoken
But in my heart I always knew… I wasn’t your kind of broken
So when I reached the first year of carnal binge
I knew a lifetime of sin could never wash your touch from my skin
Once I reached the first year of carnal binge
I knew your poison was too far under my skin
You were a tool of intimate seduction
A weapon of mass destruction
Behind you a wake of blood and bone
Reminding me of a happiness only rented, never owned
An empty life without you.
A hopeless existence with you
A neverending holocaust inside my head
Off The Rails 