I Don’t Understand
I hurt. I’m tired… of everything. Happiness… unreasonable. Contentment… unavailable. Only pain. Uncertainty. Standing in the dark with my eyes … Continue reading I Don’t Understand
Category: Darkness
When I’m at my low points.
The Fragility of Depression
With gray clouds comes darkness. Before the rains arrived, I was living some of the best, most productive days I’ve … Continue reading The Fragility of Depression
Walking in Multiple Worlds. Existing in None.
How far would you go to escape pain, depression, and feelings of worthlessness? Would you break your doctor’s orders?Would you … Continue reading Walking in Multiple Worlds. Existing in None.
Coping Mechanisms
Finding a way to cope with how dramatically life has changed. I spent 48 years refining my existing coping mechanisms … Continue reading Coping Mechanisms
Lord Tennyson’s Gaslighting
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” After half a century of accomplishment, … Continue reading Lord Tennyson’s Gaslighting
Knock Knock
I can feel the darkness beginning to tap on my shoulder again. Unlike many other times, I’m fairly confident where … Continue reading Knock Knock
The Path To Hell…
…is paved with good intentions. As a youth, I wanted to break free from how I was raised -My lack … Continue reading The Path To Hell…
The deeper the cut, the darker the blood
The death of the family cat hit me significantly harder than I expected. Not having experienced that level of loss … Continue reading The deeper the cut, the darker the blood
Calling Myself Out
When I saw this prompt ahead of time, I had my response planned out – What most people don’t seem … Continue reading Calling Myself Out
Accepting Reality
Shortly after the wreck, the doctors told me it would be at least a year to recover. I laughed and … Continue reading Accepting Reality
Thoughts From The Barrel
I lost interest in the holidays practically a lifetime ago. I was either alone, in some unstable relationship, or with … Continue reading Thoughts From The Barrel
Ambivalent in Purgatory
Living to have a family. Dying to be alone.Heart desires a partner. Mind requires isolation.Starving for affection. Resistant to physical … Continue reading Ambivalent in Purgatory
The Binge
It’s amazing how much one person can influence another so many years after the relationship has ended. Part of my … Continue reading The Binge
The Prisoner
Demons linger under my bedHold me tight, filled with dreadIntrusive thoughts invade my headHardened heart, another piece dead The hallway … Continue reading The Prisoner
Darkness Calls
Written October 22nd. 1:48am I can’t sleep. I can’t stay awake. Even with the CPAP machine, it feels as though … Continue reading Darkness Calls
Off The Rails 