You Have to Let Them Burn

We have all held the burning branch. We watched as the flame performed its hypnotic dance along the wooden grain that led to the hand we so firmly held it with.

Was it willing ignorance or blind arrogance that convinced us we would escape unscathed the first time… or maybe the next? We would somehow find a way to extinguish the burning embers before they got too close to damage us -yet the lessons from our history fell on deaf ears.

Maybe if we held the branch with our ear, we’d do better at recognizing the sights and sounds of danger when it’s at our doorstep?

Rather than let go, we choose to experience the excruciatingly painful lesson brought forward… Until our hands are so damaged we either cease to care at all, or fall into depression from our continued failures.

The even more difficult part is watching others we care for hold the branch – convinced they aren’t the same as you -or anyone else. They are smarter/more aware/more clever/more seasoned. Even when they know better themselves, they watch as the scarred flesh on their fingertips ignites once again.

If life has taught me anything, it has shown me that if someone wants to hold their flaming branch, all you can do is watch them burn and be there to provide first aid after the fact. It’s human nature. We have to learn the hard way because we cannot believe it until we see it for ourselves -even if we have seen it before. Even if we have experienced it before -because this time isn’t exactly like the last, although identical in almost every other way.

If you try and step between them and the fire they are drawn to, you will only burn before they do -meaning you will either be blamed for interfering and causing them harm, or generate resentment because of your insistence in pointing out the obvious, then when fire meets skin, they wait for the “I told you so” regardless if it is delivered or not.

Trying to be a hero will only make you the villain -no matter what you say. No matter what you do. Show them the scars from before? Hand them a different branch? It’s a waste of time and effort.

All we can do is be there when the smoke clears to help patch them up… and hope this time they learned their lesson.