Feedback Fun

This past week I unexpectedly purchased a new-to-me vehicle. The salesperson and overall experience inspired me to write a creative review for them. Of course, I had to change personal info, but it doesn’t alter how it reads.

Mr. P,

Time is money so I won’t waste too much of yours -only share my experience with your Toyota dealership.

My wife and I had 3 cars. A 2007 Toyota with 206k miles she bought new and is now entering its death rattle. A 2010 Chevy with 176k miles I purchased 6 years ago that has more personality than a hot girl’s overweight friend… And a 2004 sports car with 43k miles I purchased a year ago that reminds me of my ex-wife – incredibly beautiful but highly unstable, ridiculously expensive to maintain, and has tried to kill me at least once.

We needed a reliable car before winter hit, but there was no plan to purchase anything the day I arrived at your showroom. I was merely in the research stage. Then I met “A”. Within minutes of introducing himself, I knew he was a seasoned veteran of the auto retail world. I myself had spent many years in the retail trenches selling everything from Chryslers to Harley-Davidsons, hot tubs and countless other commission-based products. So kind-recognized-kind with one major difference. He was much more polished than I ever was. 

Within minutes and without steamrolling our conversation, “A” had most of the answers he needed – identifying my needs and their parameters, qualifying how I would buy and my budget, understanding the importance of any 3rd party objectors, their importance to my decision making, and their distance from the dealership, and lastly, what additional obstacles would be required to navigate around in order to get me to buy on the same day, but not feel directly pressured to do so.

To summarize, “A” and I tested two SUVs that had caught my attention. One we drove all the way to my wife’s work so she could share her opinion – wasn’t a fan. At all. When I asked “A” if I could take the other home for the night to show my wife, you had just walked by looking like anyone *except* the GM -this is a compliment. Many GM’s I know are genuinely terrible human beings who walk like their shoes are lined with money they’ve swindled from poor people and if your hand doesn’t hold cash, they’re not interested in shaking it.

You granted me permission to take the car home overnight where my wife talked me into getting for myself instead of for her. I brought the check the very next day. “A” invited me to a celebratory lunch, but I told him I had to quit strippers and cocaine eons ago – to which he explained he just meant Steak Escape. I forgot the age gap. He’s not old enough to remember the kind of money made before the arrival of the internet.

Either way, I have a beautiful new-to-me Chevy and you all have earned a loyal customer for the foreseeable future. “A” is quite an asset to your team and it was a pleasure working with him.

I was only kidding about the strippers and coke… well, ok, the coke. I’m random and unstable enough without the need for illegal narcotics.

Regards,
OTR

PS. Do you know anyone looking to buy a small SUV or sportscar?