I’ll share the following egocentric claim, so I can follow it with the full, humbling story.
When it comes to romance and seduction, a Scorpio with ADHD is damn near impossible to beat. Not only am I one, I have been pursued by them, so I understand both sides of my previous statement. We are relentless and our focus is unbreakable once we have you within reach. (No, we’re not stalkers. I’m referring to once we know we have a chance, we are singularly focused on consuming our interest.)
When I was younger, I loved the art of seduction -the ability to get a woman to feel so intensely about me, that she would willingly be up for almost anything in order see how far the rabbit hole went… and I’d deliver on every opportunity I was given.
People with ADHD love new and shiny things. We become obsessed quite easily. Add the passion and drive of a Scorpio personality and you get a person who provides you undivided attention and affection as well as adrenaline-filled experiences you had only dreamed or read about.
I broke a lot of hearts. I destroyed a few worlds… All because I never thought past the honeymoon phase.
Anyone who caught my eye would be in for an intense, but short-lived, experience. As anyone with ADHD will tell you, when our interest fades, it just fades. It’s almost like a switch. Once it’s off, it’s off. For those unprepared, it’s a bait-and-switch. They’re left wondering “WTF?”
If we did stay together, all those special things I did just fell off. I’d become obsessed with other things (work, hobbies, sometimes other women) and the girl I was with would fall into the background. I didn’t care for her less, I simply discovered something else to obsess over.
After I met not just my equal, but a woman who set me on my heels, I began to understand the error of my ways… I put everything I was into her and it wasn’t enough. Sadly I failed to realize this until it was too late. She ended up destroying my life.
I learned the definition of unsustainable. My lesson was received, with predatory lender’s interest.
After that, I understood what I needed to change – Never offer anything at the beginning that I wasn’t prepared to do for the rest of my life. Did it mean giving up things that made my blood boil? Yes. Did it mean holding back? Of course.
So I see true romance as offering your partner on day one what you can consistently maintain for the duration of your relationship.
If you change the behavior that landed your s/o, you cannot expect them to stick around because you are unable to sustain how you treat them.
Don’t rent a Bentley Continental for your first date, show up in a Geo Metro after you have them hooked, then curse their name for leaving because you could not maintain the facade.
So romance isn’t how you treat your partner in the first hour. It’s how you can consistently treat them for the duration – from beginning to end.
Off The Rails 