The death of the family cat hit me significantly harder than I expected. Not having experienced that level of loss before this late was a complete blindside.
Today I returned to my last post and read over it another time. After drying the waterworks once more, I realized it was some of my best writing -if not my best overall.
It’s bittersweet to know what I’m capable of, but only in times of my most intense traumatic experiences. The deeper the cut, the darker the blood I suppose.
Should I stop all the meds I’m on and embrace the void? While I know that would not be healthy given my situation, I’m never going to unlock what’s inside of me if I continue to restrain it all with medications. I managed to survive before all the chemicals were introduced.
Maybe allowing the crazy out from time to time prevents it from removing the door completely from its hinges – or in my case, completely off the rails.
Off The Rails 