Navigating cornfield mazes. It’s never as easy as you think.
Kidding. I’ve never even been in one.
With ADHD comes the ability to hyperfocus on activities that stimulate my mind. I’ve lost months of my life when a PC game entitled EVE was released decades ago. So much so that it likely helped end my 2nd marriage. The drive for completing games and completing useless achievements keep me glued to the game endlessly. If the game is really good, I neither eat nor drink until I’m exhausted.
I used to lose myself when I was on my motorcycle. Even with a helmet on, the rush of freedom around my face and the deafening sound of exhaust and wind noise, it was impossible to allow any negative feelings/emotions stagnate in my mind. The sights. The smells. The way the temperature can vary in an instant when you’re out away from the city and riding on the backroads. I rarely wanted to return home once I was in the saddle. The longer I rode, the longer I wanted to ride.
Before afflicted by psychologically damaged women, it was physical intimacy. I viewed sex as an art form. Time stood still. Hours could go by. I never grew tired of it. Like the motorcycle, when I was engaged in the activity, nothing else mattered. It was about two or more bodies wrapped in a physical bond that led us all to a place we could trade the woes of real life for a river of endorphins.
The wreck took away riding -at least for now. Meds and mental baggage have severely hobbled my libido.
My escape routes continue to narrow. When it’s all you’ve ever known, finding new ones can feel like an impossible task.
Off The Rails 