In the midst of all this chaos, I had to give away a cat I’ve had for more than 10 years, but for his entire life. He was a special boy to me, but he was also special in a way that made him difficult to handle at times.
Due to having to move several times and then my absence from his life for an extended period, his personality changed dramatically. I had no choice but to give him away to a household where he could be the alpha.
Sometime later, my s/o talked me into getting another cat. I begrudgingly met her at the pet store. They had tons of kittens available for adoption. That’s where I saw this tiny black void resting all nestled up with another furball. They named her Tiny because she was so small. She could fit in the palm of my hand. I knew I couldn’t leave without her.
I named her Cleopatra, but she’s also known as Squeakers and Chaos Noodle. She’s bonded to me and only me. Cleo also seems to understand me and even talks to me through squeaks and meows. Every morning, I wake up to her daily offering – her toy we call “crunchy snake”. At least once a day she crawls on my chest where she either rests for a bit or decides to clean herself like I’m her bathroom counter.
I do have to say I’m relieved that her butthole finally darkened. When she was a baby, it was bright carnation pink. Against her black fur it shined like the North Star and was quite distracting.
She’s become extremely important to me -I would say she’s my therapy cat. Being around her calms me even when she’s going full parkour through the house.
We have a vacation planned in a few months which means I’d be gone for about a week. I finally told my s/o that I have anxiety about leaving Cleo for that long. She’s never been away from me for more than a day and my s/o tells me when I leave the house, she comes through looking for me and calling out to see where I’m at.
I don’t think I can leave her, but I don’t know if I can take her because she’s never been on a long road trip either. IDK what to do. I’d love for her to be a road buddy with me, but I’m concerned about her personality changing like my previous cat. I can’t handle that again. I’ve had to say goodbye to too many animals through my life. Each time the guilt weighs a little more than the last time.
This new life is so insanely different than my previous one. Everything is so much more difficult than it used to be -both physical and mental.
Off The Rails 