There have been times in my life where there was no light available to stay focused on. I had maybe a pinhole of “not quite black yet” in the distance which to guide me away from the abyss.
It was in those moments where someone offered a reprieve from the hydraulically-driven grip of depression. An unexpected, and sometimes undeserved hand would reach through the darkness and offer grace.
Gift 1. After my heart had been ripped out by who I felt was the love of my life -It took the form of a few inexpensive birthday gifts from a sweet girl I was dating. They were simple, yet she had put a lot of thought into them. I remember crying. I realized she had shown me more thoughtfulness in that single moment than the woman I had been with for five years had ever given me that had an ounce of selflessness and authenticity.
Gift 2. After I broke a young girl’s heart, her and her family reached out to me more than a decade later when I needed someone the most and offered me a way out of the situation I had gotten myself into – A place to stay. A job and with time, the opportunity to possibly own my own business again.
Gift 3. My s/o drove all night to come and be with me in the hospital after my life-altering wreck… after I had deeply hurt her feelings from an anxiety-driven decision I had previously made which placed our relationship in jeopardy. She could have rightly left me where I laid, but she chose to come and recover me from the hell I was about to face alone.
I suppose I’ve always been more about the thought behind the gift than what I could actually hold in my hand. Hell, I still have a jar of sand from one of my oldest friends. I have the first gold necklace my father purchased for me after I joined the military.
So you could say that the best gift I have ever received has been the reminders that although I may not see my worth in this world, my presence in it matters for some reason. It’s what has kept me stuck to this big blue marble for as long as it has.
Off The Rails 