If you are visiting my blog from the video currently on YouTube as well as my other social media pages, you may have some observations and questions regarding my response to the issues that were plaguing me while on my trip. This post is to hopefully address those questions.
Q: Was I really suicidal?
A: Yes. I was closer than I’ve ever been to going through with it. It’s still contemplated almost daily, but nothing close to what it was at the time of this trip. I don’t like the word suicide, so I choose to use other expressions that mean the same thing.
Q: Why choose a potential complex travel plan if I was planning to end it all anyway? Why not closer to home?
A: It wasn’t just to end my life. I wanted answers. I was tired of the constant issues that continued to pop up with my rehab and I needed to clear my head. Also, if I were to end my life, I wouldn’t want my s/o or anyone I know to find my body. To know someone checked out is one thing. To find the body is something completely more life-changing.
Q: Why spend so much money if you haven’t had a job in so long?
A: Money comes and goes. Neither wealth nor poverty matters to someone no longer alive. I needed to find answers.
Q: If you experienced so many problems right from the start, wasn’t that a sign to go home instead of pushing forward?
A: When your mind is as broken and desperate to make sense of everything as mind has become, it’s impossible to understand what is a sign telling me to stop versus a sign that I’m being tested. The only thing failing me was Amtrak. Once I arrived at my destinations, everything else was fine. So it wasn’t as though *everything* was going wrong. Just everything that dealt with Amtrak.
Q: What do you hope for by publishing this video?
A: From my experience, humanity isn’t a priority to large corporations, only the bottom line. If they won’t do what’s right because of the person, maybe they’ll do what’s right because of the profit loss.
Q: Did you really not know what travel insurance was?
A: I had genuinely never heard of it. The wellness trip I took was the first time I had taken what would be classified as a vacation since childhood. I’m not a big fan of driving/flying to some remote tourist trap to spend a bunch of money. I’d rather spend smaller sums more frequently to enjoy life as I go instead of one or two big spends a year. I broke from tradition for this because of the circumstances.
As other questions come up, I’ll address them here, but all I really want is for a 2.1 Billion dollar company to do what’s right instead of pawning it off on everyone else.
If you’re finding this post first, you can find the video here.
Off The Rails 