We were told that we needed to have customer entertainment nights nailed down for the year. When asked what the budget was, we were told there wasn’t one. When pressed harder, we were told that the budget would depend on how many people were going to attend… So we were expected to figure out how many people were going to attend an event that hadn’t happened yet in order to determine what we were going to spend.
Last one before the best of the best –
A new national promo was rolling out for a brand new product. I was never advised that we would participate in the rollout. None of our other stores were told. Promo ended in January. I was told in November that we needed to go ahead and complete a year’s worth of work in about 45 calendar days and through the holidays. I managed to complete 100% of the expected tasks and was told that it wasn’t good enough. One other store (that wasn’t nearly as busy as we were and didn’t have the responsibilities I did) had completed 200% and that I needed to do that also.
I could write an additional 10k words as this idiocy went on every.single.day, but I decided to skip directly to the holy grail of fuckery. The sequence of events that showed me what life would be like no matter what I did or how I performed. Had my girl not been there to witness it, I think even she would’ve had a hard time believing me – until she was brought into it herself.
One day I approached the owner with a proposal. A pay for performance plan based on percentages of floor traffic. I knew that was the only way I would be able to make any additional money in my position.
Me: Hey “X” I’d like to see about setting up a pay for performance plan as a way for me to earn more money.
X: Ok. I like that idea. What’s your plan?
I laid out how my contributions to foot traffic could be turned into measurable results and how I could be paid for them based on the goals that were already in place.
The plan that was presented to me had two levels of bonuses. 110% and 115% over projected goal. Anything over 115% didn’t go towards anything. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a ceiling, but whatever. I accepted the challenge. After two months of either just barely missing the goal or reaching it, I saw what was possible so I had another meeting with X.
Me: Hey, I’d like to add another percentage to my payplan.
X turned away from his computer, where he had been planning his next vacation – or maybe his next vehicle purchase. It was hard to remember which one it was at the time but he was always busy shopping for his next trophy.
Me: I’d like to add a larger bonus if I reach 120% of goal.
X let out a sarcastic laugh and said, “Sure, why not. Give me some time to think about it and I’ll get back to you.”
Days turned into weeks. A month later, I hit my first goal of 110%. I got a little nervous because I was doing the work, but no agreement had been made. I was basically set to lose money. I asked him about it again. Once more he said they were working on it.
Month after month, my stats continued to climb towards 120%. Then around the 6th month, I did it. I hit 120% of goal. I was extremely happy with my performance. Since I had heard nothing from X, I went to inquire and ask for a retro payment for the goals I had achieved.
He looked me dead in the eyes and said he had no memory of any of our conversations. I will never forget the words that spewed from his mouth.
X: I’m not saying you’re lying. I’m just saying I don’t remember us ever having these discussions.
Now, one important fact that needs to be added to this scenario. While blowing the doors off my goals, I had also been involuntarily given another location’s social media to take care of. A job that was never in my description and one I was not being paid an extra dime for. I did accept the role as it was my intention to show them a better way to structure certain aspects of the company… Which I later learned was just bullshit they fed me so I’d shut up and do as I was supposed to, just as they did customers. Say whatever to get the deal done. Just make sure it’s not in writing.
X assured me they couldn’t include the addition of my performance bonuses till the beginning of the following year due to budgeting – which had never been mentioned prior to that moment. My response was that I knew what was going to happen. They were going to use my performance for the current year against me for the following year. That somehow my 120% month was going to be the baseline goal for the next year. He acted insulted and expressed his discontent for my attitude. He assured me that my performance numbers would play no part in their projections for the next year.
Absolutely devastated, I sent an email back to X with some choice wording and also stating I wished to resign the additional duties that were not part of my job description since I was also not being compensated for that. I was verbally reprimanded for my email and attitude, then enlightened to the fact that managing the other location had become part of my job duties and that by resigning that position, I would also be quitting my primary position. My choice was either to shut up and take it, or leave… I sucked it up and took it because of the situation I had placed myself and my girl in, in order to be there to begin with.
When it came time for my yearly review, despite the goals I had crushed, I received a mediocre review. I did, however, receive a $200 per month raise. $100 for managing the extra location. $100 for performance. And my performance goal? What a fucking joke. It was switched from monthly to quarterly. So I had to reach, let’s say 110% over goal for every month within the quarter in order to qualify for a laughable bonus based on the amount of work I had to complete.
Then the best insult of the day. In order not be complete liars, not that they were opposed to it, they took the exact numbers I had achieved during the year they fucked me out of my performance pay and backed them down by 1 as my new goal. For example, we’ll say the month I did 5000 widgets was 120% over that month’s goal. The base goal for that same month the next year would be 4999 widgets. To reach the bonus, I’d have to do 120% over 4999 widgets. Exactly what I called them out on and what they said would not play a role in their determination. It was reduced by one so they could say they didn’t lie – a prime example of how they operated.
A day or two later, I was handed another sheet to sign. Apparently they had made a mistake. I was to only receive $100 as my yearly raise AND for managing the other location.
Un.fucking.believable.
I was done… But they weren’t..
At one point during the year, I was involved in a motorcycle wreck where I was hit from the side and thrown from the bike. Although I was not seriously hurt, I had bumps, bruises, and was in considerable pain. I was sore to say the least. To my surprise, my boss told me to take a couple days off to recover. Two days later I returned to work. My boss walked into my office with a sheet of paper and told me he had to write me up for a no-call, no-show. Mind you, no one attempted to call me either day. I immediately knew this was a setup and refused to sign the paper.
Me: I’m not signing that. You said to take some time off.
Boss: I just meant that day. I don’t see why you needed the extra day off.
While in a state of disbelief, I lost my shit and in a raised voice replied, “I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE BECAUSE I JUST GOT RAN THE FUCK OVER?”
I felt my face immediately turn red. He paused for a second. Then pulled the paper back and said he guessed it was a misunderstanding.
Yeah jackass. I guess it was.
Continued tomorrow…
Off The Rails 