About an hour after the train left Denver, it began its approach to the base of Rocky Mountains. I decided to make my way to the observation car ahead of time so I could get a decent seat before it filled up. Everyone was going to want to crowd into the car at some point. Fortunately, I did get there fast enough to wrangle a single occupant seat. From that point, I could just kill time doing whatever until we began our ascent into the mountains.
To my left was a group of maybe 5-6 middle-upper aged women. They were obviously in a group together as they joked and cackled like a bunch of old hens. My guess was a girl’s trip across the Continental Divide. They were having a good time laughing and cutting up.
Over my right shoulder was a couple I’d estimate to be at least in their 70’s. John & Wilma. I don’t remember who threw out the first verbal invitation for social engagement, but at one point, the three of us were having a very pleasant conversation about trivial matters. Small talk. I’m usually not a fan of it, but there was something about this couple that put me at ease. As we moved from topic to topic, I noticed how relaxed they were with each other. I mean, even when Wilma would interrupt John and finish his thought (and it happened constantly), John would just smile, let Wilma finish, then either resume what he was saying or begin another topic. There was never an ounce of friction between them. Never a foul glance or comment.
Twenty minutes into the chit-chat, Wilma looked at me and asks if John actually told me why they were on the train to begin with. When I responded that he had not, he educated me on the fact that they were headed to San Franiciso to get their picture taken on the Golden Gate Bridge.
“It will be our 50th wedding anniversary so we wanted to have our Golden Anniversary on the Golden Gate Bridge.”
When speaking those words, I could see they both swelled with pride and love. John sat up a little straighter, Wilma’s grin grew into a full face smile. Because of how John sat, his back was to Wilma – so neither could see the other’s reaction, which to me, made their responses that much more authentic.
Every moment I spent in their presence was bittersweet. John and Wilma were at peace within themselves and with each other. To know I can recognize what that looks like, but accept I do not have that within me… at least without heavy medications… makes me a little sad sometimes.
Maybe I was never meant to escape the storm… because I have before and had no idea what to do with myself. I was in unfamiliar territory and completely lost on how to function. I found more anxiety there than when standing in the eye of the hurricane itself.
Off The Rails 